Thursday, October 15, 2009

luahan hatiku selepas posting di wad paediatrik.

petang tadi aku tidur.
aku mimpi sebuah mimpi yang tak mungkin dilupakan.
kerana selepas aku bangun
aku menangis seketika.

aku mimpi bayi yang kecil,
yang sedang menangis apabila berseorang.
dan ketika aku menghampiri dia,
die tersenyum manis sangat.
aku tak boleh lupa wajah manis itu.

bila aku bangun,
aku cuba mengingati mimpi itu semula,
lalu aku menangis.

aku rindukan dia,
bayi kecil yang pernah aku jaga
ketika posting di wad paediatrik.
seminggu aku jaganya.
aku mandikannya.
aku susukannya.
aku bermain bersama dia.
bermain di tempat permainan.
die gembira apabila ada orang yang bermain dengannya.
dia senyum setiap kali aku menghampirinya.
seolah-olah dia sudah mengenali aku.

aku rindukan dia.
anak kecil berbaju pink.
kulitnya putih dan cantik.
bibir dia merah jambu dan halus
semua yang melihat dia pasti akan tersentuh.
dan semua yang pernah menjaga dia
pasti akan mengingati dia dan merindui dia.
seperti aku sekarang.

kenapa dia dibuang?
kenapa ada ibu yang sanggup membuangnya?
kenapa bodoh sangat manusia kerana sanggup buang bayi kecil yang comel itu?
kenapa bayi itu yang tidak bersalah perlu menghadapi dunia yang kejam ini?

dia yang kecil itu,
walaupun senyumannya yang indah,
dia bakal menempuh dunia yang kejam ini,
dunia yang tidak adil ini.
siapa ayahnya?
siapa ibunya?
siapa yang akan menjaganya selepas ini?
cukupkah kasih sayang yang diperolehinya itu?

ya Allah,
kau lindungilah anak kecil itu.
curahkannya dengan penuh kasih sayang.
aku hanya manusia
mahu manusia yang pernah aku jaga,
dilindungi dari segala bencana
dan disihatkan tubuh badan.
aku sayang dia, anak yang kecil itu,
walaupun hanya diberi peluang menjaganya selama seminggu,
walaupun aku tidah pernah kenal dia sebelum ini,
aku berdoa pada mu ya Allah,
agar kau lindungi anak itu.
agar Kau permudahkan segala urusan yang bakal dilaluinya.
semoga Kau sembuhkan segala penyakitnya.

Hari ini,
ketika perjalanan ku ke kelas psikiatrik,
aku terserempak dengannya di lif.
aku tak sangka akan bertemu dengannya lagi walaupun sesaat itu.
terima kasih ya Allah untuk saat itu.
kerana aku mulai sedar
apa itu erti kasih sayang yang sebenar.

ketika aku bertentang mata dengan anak kecil tiu,
dia tersenyum,
seolah-olah masih mengenali aku.
dia sudah semakin besar,
dan aku tak akan mungkin melupakan wajahnya itu,
sehingga akhir hayatku.

3 comments:

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