Saturday, February 27, 2010

Jaksa in Memory...

no matter how hard the time was and how difficult it has been,
they are already being the part of my life,

before this, i had two options to choose,
the first one was, i hurting myself,
or the second one, to thankful because of it.

so i was did choose to hurting myself.
and now i found out it was truly hurt and it was beyond more than hurt.
if there is words that can describe how hurt it was, i rather not to know it.

because i made mistake.
i choose the wrong one.
and i really dont know if i can forgive myself or not.
because im not only hurting myself,
but i did hurt someone else.
i did hurt people those who love me.
i did hurting them so much and i dont know if they still love me or not.
if they still can forgive me or not,
and if they still can, it wont be like before, anymore.

ya Allah, can you give me another chance to choose another option?
can You give me those previous time so i can fixing everytings back to normal again?
can I have them back?
can You forgive me?

can i have another option?
the one that i ignored it before?
the one that i dumped?
i would like to thankful to them,
i would like to thank to You,
because they made me who i am now.
because without them,
i wont be this much strong enough,
i wont be strong enough to go through this life anymore,

i know,
i should not blame them or the job that i do,
i was me the one who should be blamed.
it was me the person who dont appreciate things,
it was me the person that likes to hurting people,
can i be forgiven?

even if they can forgive me,
even if You can forgive me,
even if i have them back,
even if i can fix everthings back to normal,
i am not sure if i able to forgive myself, again...

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