Thursday, June 24, 2010

going for kursus tomorrow for 2nd time to be fasilitator

a few days ago, when i was in my room at kolej, i was thinking of how much greatful my life was at this moment, to learn a lot from being such a lousy KP for dinner nursing in year 1, until an insignificant jaxa member in year 3. and now im heading towards my precious year 4, the only final year left, before i start my journey to become a real nurse..
then i also think about how wonderful my life-experienced to be the fasilitator for MMP and a bit envy towards oya and tay for them to get an opportunity to become fasis and go for all the kursus in besut and bangi..
but then..
until today,
cik jenny called me asking me to replace oya's place since she couldn't go to kursus because she have to take care of her beloved grandpa.. at first, i was a bit excited because i've got this oportunity (again), but then, to remember of oya really wanted so much to be one of the fasi from the beginning, and now im really feeling awful and ashamed of myself for taking advantage of her opportunity.. :(
frankly speaking, Oya deserve much more better than me. Oya should go for this kursus and be one of the fasilitator for 3M, but it just me that always take others opportunity..(am i?) :((
to think about how luckiest person i am that always had great opportunities infront of me but yet i never satisfied with it, i feels so bad.
previous one, i was the fasilitator too, but to be honest, i was choosen because i have to replace somebody's place too, if i'm not mistaken it was a seniors' place, it was a bit last minutes, puan faiz called me and asked for my t-shirt size, to fill a few forms and many more. and this time, again, for the last minutes today, cik jenny called me to replace oya's place. i'm packing tonight and going to besut terengganu tomorrow early morning.
weird isn't? for the 2nd times i've been selected, to replacing somebody's place. maybe because i'm the only person that my hometown nearer to hukm, so they probably think that i'm a good-last-minutes-person-to-replace and absolutely they think i can make it.
by the way, what ever it is, oya still deserve to be the fasilitator.. and i'm just a person called as a 'replacer' only..
but i will do my best. pray for me..
this time, ktdi will be stay at keris mas together with Fak Perubatan and FSKB. it's supposed to be like that from the beginning because nursing is under fak. perubatan, i dont know what reasons they seperated them like that from the earier.
i cant image how perang dectar this time will be since ktdi have to join with keris mas (or maybe we wont), the thing is, me and few fasis was together with kajai before this, and we was cheered and supported kajai but this time im afraid the fasis from keris mas or ktsn, they kind of 'hate' us since we was in kajai before.. but i guess keris mas is much more better than zaba. because i 'hate' zaba. they are too agressive. i prefer keris mas rather than zaba, even though i have few friends from zaba. :)

Sunday, June 20, 2010

semerah cinta stilleto & vivah

today, i watched 2 movies and i learnt so much things from them. first movie titled Semerah Cinta Stilleto starring by Farid Kamal and Lisa Surihani is about a rich girl fall in love with a poor guy. the moral of the story was not about either the rich or poor or those pair of red shoes but its about how much family is important than a lover.
to me, love comes from a family. if you dont love your family, how are you going to love somebody else who's known as non-family of yours? we are all very aware of the quote of 'love yourself before you love somebody else'. i think, what it means was, love yourself. love where you comes from. love who is known as your family, love your friends and family that what makes you are now. poeple behind you that what makes you becoming a person now are deserve much more to get love from you.
i see many people sacrifice family for their lover. dont be hypocrite if you say you love your family much more than everything, dont lie to yourself, and i dont want to be such a hypocrite too, and that's why i'm writing this all about in here because one day if im about to fall in love, i'll keep remind myself to read this entry again and again. the thing is, people being such a hypocrite said that they love their family much more than his/her partner, tell me how many times you call your mother in the phone or said 'i love you mom' in your whole entire life? every week? every month? and i see such a very close example to me, my mom really dont want my brother to get involve in love yet and he knew it very well but still he go out on a date (like everyday!) with his girlfriend, texting each other like every minutes, calling up everynight, oh my god ya Allah, tak boring ke??!
he even wrongly sent a message to a wrong person, like he want to send the message to his gf, but accidentally sent it to my mother. if i'm a mother, i'll crack like hell. and i dont know how is that the feeling of a real mom of my mother. maybe she'll worries all night. she said to me "mama tak berkenan la' and thats obviously mama tak restui sangat..
and if my mom dont like her, i dont like her too. sorry to say. i may not be a good supporter as your sister, but if i have to choose either you, her, or mama, i'll chose mama first. than you second, and she will be last person i choose if i have to choose 1000 people!! why? because she meant nothing to me.
we all learnt to love human and be taught to love each other from our family. so be greatful and thankful of that. many people they think, "ah, its ok if mom doesnt like her, time to time, mom will tolerate and get used of the fact that i love her"-something like that. or "never mind if he's not good enough (clubbing, socializing, player, womenizing, smoking or anything bad), i'll make him to be a good person, i'll change him to be better" - like hello, even you cant take a good care yourself or change yourself to be good enough, how are you going to change other people's attitude or life? silly right.
and cinta semerah stilleto really taught me a lot about how much important the family are rather than a lover.
another movie i watched was Vivah - hindustand movie. this one movie is really good if you want to learn more about Indian custom, culture and religious. this movie is about a marriage that has been arranged by two family. so basically this two person never met each other, and they are arranged by their family to get married. they agreed and married and hapily ever after. ok actually the story wasn't simple as i told, a bit complicated when it comes about the mother's bride has a conflict with the bride and then something happen and a bit sad at the last scene, at the end the mother can accept the bride and all that, if you want to know just go watch la, its a great movie. aku asik menangis je bila tengok hindustand. huhu. but the moral of the story, kalau dua-dua family dah suka, dua-dua family dah restui, itulah cinta dia yang tepat. camtu lah lebih kurang kan..
perkahwinan tu bukan hanya penyatuan lelaki dan wanita, tetapi penyatuan dua buah keluarga. maksudnya kalau nak bercerai, fikirkan bahawa ianya akan putuskan hubungan dari dua buah keluarga. so memang bodoh la kan. pentingkan diri. kalau sanggup abaikan keluarga, itu memang bodoh dan pentingkan diri. haha.
wow, aku ni dah boleh jadi pakar perunding untuk orang yang nak bercerai kot. leh wat bisnes nih. huuhu.

money headache

i decided not to saving any money anymore because it gives me a real headache when it comes to me to think to much about how to saving and spending wisely. i'm so tired. like everytime when i go out i'll think about not to buy this and that, and even if i buy something to eat like, just now, i bought nasi goreng pataya and fruit cake but i didn't finish them and throw them away and now i feel regret because of it. i should just buy sandwiches or bread and it still can be filling and yet it costs much cheaper. and the thing is, i keep regretting myself of buying foodstuff while i should not to. and yesterday i went out to time square looking for 'necessary needs' but ended up buying nothing because i decided to wait until they in sales. so yesterday i wasted money for transporting and buying meals because i'm so hungry looking at packed of people go shoping like crazy and my brainless idiot couldn't stop regretting for yesterday!
you know what, i should just buy anything i want. i should not to think of many times if i should buy them or not. i should not. because when i do that, i could probably just waste a lot of time.
after 3 years i saved thousands ringgit and suffering of starvation until i getting kurus kering like this, and all friends in high school even my cousins and my aunties said to me i'm so thin, i decide to not to save of being stingy anymore.
bubye all those stupid aim of saving up to 1k at the end of my final semester and hello to miss new wisely spender. i shouldn't worry anymore if i want to draw out some money in ATM machines. i shouldn't get those anxiety and panic attack like syndrome when i spend more money to foods and necessary requirements.
i dont have to worry so much because after finish my study, it's not like im going to unemployed or someting, absolutely i will get the job, i never heard of any nurses become unemployed. so no worries.

Friday, June 18, 2010

videoclip kembara siswi anjuran Jaksa Heswi KTDI 09/10

video ni memang dah terlalu lewat untuk di upload.tapi aku nak upload jugak. penat dah edit-edit sampai kol 3pagi. haha.
senang je rupanya nak buat video ni. aku download free videopad video editor cari kat google je, actually banyak lagi tools yang boleh guna untuk buat video ni lagi cantik, tapi takda masa plak nak buat. so buat simple and ringkas je. lagu pon aku men amik randomly je dari file, tak sangka plak macam sesuai je. haha.
anyway, thanks to wan nadhirah selaku cameraman for the whole event. dia yang ambil semua video ni pakai camera aku, aku cuma edit-edit je. wan tak jon rakit, tak join water confident, tak join explore race semata-mata nak ambil semua gambar ni. terima kasih daun keladi daun pandan..
gambar tak berapa cantik la maybe camera aku murah sangat kot. ahahaha. dan ending dia tak berapa best ar. macam tersangkut. aku tak taw pahal jadi camtu, dah dua tiga kali edit, jadi camtu. sepatutnya ada gambar ramai-ramai dengan ucapan terima kasih, tapi tak muncul plak. huhu.
jap, nak buat ucapan hari raya. akhir kata,
saya nak ucapkan selamat maju jaya pada jaksa akan datang, especially jaksa biro hal ehwal siswi, amiza. saya jugak nak mintak ampun dan maaf jika sepanjang saya sebagai jaksa, ada salah dan silap kata dan perlakuan, ada kekurangan dan kelemahan, harap semua warga ktdi dapat maafkan saya..
semoga kita berjumpa lagi! tata!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

video Majlis Watikah Pertauliahan DiRaja

Lt. Kolonel Nasaruddin bin Che Om

Lt. Muda Noradzmi bin Nasaruddin

Misi Norshazwani bt Nasaruddin.

ah! tak peduli. aku nak gak title. tak kisah la misi pon. janji title. ingat korang je ke yang leh dapat title?
sabtu lepas aku sekeluarga pergi USM Penang tengok azmi amik watikah pertauliahan diraja. dia kan join palapes, so dia kira dah grad dari palapes la setelah 3 tahun join.
dulu, dia ada mintak nak masuk sekolah menengah untuk jadi tentera tu. ntah ape nama dia aku dah lupa. tapi tak dapat sebab dia pendek dan rabun kot. huhu. sian.
pastu dia masuk sekolah teknik amik kejuruteran elektrik&elektronik, pastu dapat tawaran matrik, sebulan pastu dia kuar sebab dapat tawaran uitm. now dia sambung diploma kat uitm dungun. skang dia dah habis blaja 3 tahun dan & tunggu permohonan untuk sambung degree kat uitm shah alam.
azmi join palapes since year 1. so dia dah 3 tahun menceburi bidang palapes semenjak dia tak dapat masuk sekolah tentera tu. dulu aku ingat palapes ni stakat men panjat-panjat masuk hutan, macam best la, selepas tegok budak-budak tu kena ragging & kena dera, mak ai, trime kasih je la. sorang-sorang kene pelempang sebab bawak handphone dalam dewan. pastu kene sujud kat jalan raya tar tapi tangan kat belakang, dahi dengan hujung jari kaki je kat jalan raya, badan takleh sentuh jalan, kene naik. boleh bayangkan tak? dah le dalam hujan pastu posisi tu je la nak setengah jam ke satu jam camtu. boleh retard otak budak-budak tu. sian kan..
dari moyang aku, dato' bahaman pahlawan pahang mase zaman british dulu, pastu atok aku yang join askar melayu mase zaman perang jepon & komunis dulu, pastu bapak aku join tentara darat, pastu adik aku join palapes, tetibe plak aku jadi nurse.
tapi takpe, aku ni ade gak prangai macam askar siket pe.. mcm tegas, garang, berdisiplin? huu..
kalau nak suruh aku panjat pokok, boleh je..
nak suruh aku pegang senapang M16, boleh je kot..
nak suruh masuk hutan duduk kat dalam tu berminggu-minggu, macam senang.. hihi..
apa yang bestnye askar ni?
seronok betul dikeilingi askar ni, pegi mane pon kena tabik. rase macam VIP dowh. haha.
dapat scholarship. dari aku sekolah rendah, upsr, pmr, spm, samapai masuk U, aku dapat scholarship untuk anak angkatan tentera.
terima kasih kerajaan Malaysia. banyak dah duit rakyat yang dihabiskan untuk aku..
scholarship JPA untuk buat degree nursing, scholarship cancelori UKM yang nak pegi uk ni lagi, banyak nya duit rakyat berabis untuk aku..
insyaAllah aku akan berkhidmat dengan terbaik untuk rakyat bila dah kerja nanti..
terima kasih Malaysia.. Alhamdulillah.beruntungnya aku dilahairkan di tanah air ini.
apa yang best askar ni?
bila aku dengan adik aku pegi mana-mana, aku rasa selamat. macam rasa protected dari penjenayah. kalo kuar ngan bapak aku pegi makan ke, jangan harap la ada mat-mat moto nak 'wit-wit' aku. bila tengok askar beruniform kat sebelah aku sambil berkata "alamak, bapak die la.".
disebabkan bapak aku askar, aku belajar untuk berdisiplin la sikit..
ayah aku tak manjakan aku dengan adik-adik aku.
ayah aku cool je orang dia. kalau result exam gempak camne pon, die wat muka cool je tak cakap pape. diam je. macam-macam dah aku berusaha keras nak impress dia, tapi dia tetap cool, tu yang aku rasa geram tu, cam mana nak bagi bapak aku ni kagum dengan aku ni?
kalau tak belajar cara hidup susah, orang tu takkan hargai hidup senang.

walaupon aku ni nurse, tapi dalaman aku ni askar taw tak! hati dan jiwa aku ni dah sebati dengan cara hidup askar tak tak?! darah yang mengalir dalam tubuh aku ni, keturunan pahlawan askar tahu tak!
so, jangan cari pasal dengan aku.
good bye.

will & legacy

this my pondok buruk is part of my legacy because one day if i have to die, i know i'd left 'something' for people that i love. and that's the most reason why i dont set this blog into private.
kalau boleh nak je aku buat private, menyibuk je orang yang aku tak suka dok sibuk je baca blog aku ni. berambus lah. hishh.. tak senang betul aku nak menulis..
boleh ke blog ni dijadikan macam tempat wasiat?
macambest je tulis wasiat kat dalam ni kot-kot la pape jadi kat aku nanti, ada la harta aku yang aku boleh pass kat sesape yang patut. ceh. macam kaya je aku ni. haha.

1stly, password aku untuk blog, ym, yahoomail, fb adalah sama. password ada di belakang kalendar. password utk bank islam dengan cimb bank adalah sama. password: cannot tell. haha.
ok. semua harta benda aku yang kat kolej ni, aku bagi la kat semua kawan budak kelas aku. macam apa ek. macam teddy bear yang melambak lambak ni, bagi la kat diorang sorang satu ek. jangan berebut. semua baju aku yang murah tu boleh la bagi kat sepupu aku tak kisah sape2. ada jugak yang mahal yang aku beli kat mango, nicole or goggles tu, bagi la sepupu aku omet, dia je la sepupu aku yang kurus kering macam aku. haha. bag aku ni semua buang la, kecuali bag elle dengan sembonia ni bagi kat sepupu aku omet. yang lain boleh buang.huhu..

kalau semua ni diorang taknak terima, tolong la derma kat sape yang memerlukannya...


wani merepek meraban lagi!!
memang aku dah sewel.. huhu..

Monday, June 7, 2010

the climb - jaxaktdi0910

tetiba terjumpa video ni dalam folder biro HES masa nak cari portfolio biro HES untuk di emailkan pada miza, new jaxa HES. camne tah video ni boleh sesat kat dalam folder tuh.
lawak je video nih. huhu.


Sunday, June 6, 2010

jawapan yang sama tapi maksud yang berbeza

aku tahu topik ni memang bodoh untuk diceritakan, tapi aku nak kongsi jugak. ok camni ceritanya. sepupu aku sms aku bagitahu aku yang member dia lelaki nak kenal dengan aku, dia mintak no phone aku, so sepupu aku mintak izin aku boleh ke dia bagi no phone aku.
ok, dalam hati aku, aku nak bagitahu, aku tak biasa sangat la nak berkanalan2 ni.macam pelik je rasanya. nak sms2 atau ym2 ke, macam leceh plak. tak kenal plak tu. rase macam tak real je. macam membosankan je. so, aku nak tolak dengan cara baik. so apa patut sepupu aku bagitahu dia?
"wani taknak". bunyi macam aku ni bajet bagus berlagak gila jual mahal nak mampus.
"wani pemalu dan penyegan. dia cakpa takmo la". pergh. hipokrit gila. macam baik sangat je aku ni nak jadi pemalu2 plak. haha.
"wani segan ar. dia tak biasa". ok. this one sounds good.
aku suroh sepupu aku ni bagitahu dia macam tu, tapi sepupu aku cakap,
"wani, ko bagi antara 2 jawapan je. nak. or taknak."
haih, aku cakap taknak kang, itu dah direct sangat reject.
pastu sepupu aku cakap kat aku,
"sengal la ko wani. jual mahal plak"
kuang asam betul sepupu aku ni.. tak membantu aku lansung.
komunikasi tu yang penting.
jawapan dia sama ada "nak" atau "taknak". "ya" atau "tidak". atau "betul" atau "salah". apa-apa persoalan pun, ada dua jawapan bertentangan tu, tapi apa yang membezakan dua jawapan tu, adalah cara kita memberi jawapan tu..
memang topik bodoh untuk diceritakan kat sini.
benda yang simple pon boleh jadi complicated.
tapi apa-apa pun, complicated and conflict are always important for that individual or two person or groups to develop to become more mature..
kalau semua benda nak jadi simple and easy, that individual tu kira macam develop low coping mechanism or low self tolerance.
ntah apa lah yang aku merepek meraban ni..

veena, i love u.

just now i was texting with raveena, my bestfriend since high school. she was the one who texted me first. and so many things we shared about.yes i love her so much. but i didnt realize that she love me much more than i thought.

veena, she is the first and the last best friend ever had for the moment. i mean, since finished high school, i never had any closest friend like what me and veena had. yeah, its true that As was also my best friend during matriks and still best friend until now, but what me and veena had were so much more different and so much important than everything. friendship that had built for 3 years during high school.

the thing is, we talked things a lot, and it seems like she needs me a lot.. seriously i feel so bad to myself because im not by her side when the time she needs me..

when she said, she had been kept things that she need to share about for a long time and now she shared it with me, she told me i am the only one person that she trust so much, and im the only person that she shared things about, and to think about how and what she had been through for 3 years and never share it with anybody, i really feel like wanted to cry so bad. what the kind of friend of me that never realize that my bestfriend needs me a lot. and i never there for her. :(
for that moment, i realized that, she is the best friend of mine. i mean the very best one. she will be the BFF. forever. until the last of breath. she understands me a lot and same goes with me to her. she still the same person i used to know before. she still veena. happy go lucky with that charming smiles, crazy and fun-type of person.

just because i was entering matriks and UKM, then i got lost contact with her, it's not supposed to be the reason of me to ignore her. sorry veena. sorry for our long lost contact. truly i am.. :'(

the long term closest friend i ever had is only raveena, even though we were from different religious and belief, but we share the same horoscope. we're both pisces, we used to love evanescence so crazy, we're always be the warm up partner during karate-do class, we're always went for recess together, shared meals, study together, gossiping, went shopping, or maybe shared adik angkat. we used to feel jealous to each other if one of us gets anything but the other one of us didn't get it. so anything must always be equal to us. we loved amy lynn lee. we loved tatu. we were rock star at high school! many juniors admiring us so bad (hahaha) and berebut nak jadi adik angkat. xD

raveena. i miss u a lot. i just wish we could go back to high school again.. i wish we could sing any evanescence songs again, i wish we could celebrate our birthday together again, i wish we could do things of what we used to do before this.
i am so jealous of u because u jave someone already.. so, if u didn't find me, u still have him right. this is really not fair. :(
but anyway veena, u will always have me okay.. i'll be your good listener since i've been training for that..haha. so, u can always use me babe. dont keep it in your heart for that long period of time. i know how much it hurts u. because i know u better.
another good things of being the student of girls high school is, if u have best friends, they tend to be the closest friend of u. because we protect each other. they dont fight each other just because your bestfriend steeling your boyfriend (because u are in girls school), we back up each other in the class, they tend to communicate more to each other because u dont have any guy to have crushed on or spend more time talks to your boyfriend or guy friends, and lastly we understand female population so much much more.
ahahhhh.. now i know... thats why i became biro hal ehwal siswi in jaksa.. thats why nursing course is my first choice.. because i was destined for it..and thats why i wanted to do midwifery after this... because i am so much more into woman or girls or any related to female gender... because i understand female better.. because i was from titiwangsa girls school... chewah! haha.

reunion at the wedding day

semalam makan nasi minyak. hari ni nasi minyak lagi. hadoihaih. jeles betul tengok orang naik pelamin nih. semalam pegi rumah orang kawen dekat taiping perak. sepupu aku punya kawan pejabat dia kawen. bertolak dari kl pukul 10am, dengan 2 orang kawan ofis dia, sampai taiping pkul 2pm, pengantin pon dan selesai bersanding. tak rugi jugak aku ikot omet gi member dia kawen ni sebab aku jumpa mariah, kawan matrik aku dulu. rupa-rupanya mariah ni bakal tunang dengan kawan ofis omet jugak.

jumpa mariah, memang beborak sakan tak ingat dunia. ye ar. dah 3 tahun kot terpisah dengan kawan aku sorang ni yang satu aras mase matrik dulu, yang study sama-sama dengan wani halim kat bilik aku aku dulu, yang pergi kelas & lecture hall sama-sama dulu, yang tido sekatil dengan wani halim sebab study sampai larut malam dulu, yang aku tolong make up kan mase nak pergi dinner dulu, haha. so, bila jumpa tu, rasa terubat sikit rindu kat kawan-kawan matrik aku..

yang jelesnya, mariah bakal bertunang lagi 2 minggu dari tarikh semalam!!! tunang dia yang mana satu? yang pakai baju belang kaler coklat maroon tu! hehe. dan tarikh nikah plak bulan 12 nanti, buat dekat sg. petani. alahai sayang, aku macam mana nak pegi sg. petani tu..jauh bebeno.. kalo ade orang nak bawak takpe la jugak. huhu.. (T.T)
then, pukul 4pm tu kitorang balik ke kl. sampai kl kol 8pm, gi singgah mcD makan malam dengan pakai baju kurung nye melantak mcD. huhu.

itu semalam. hari ni plak, lepas abis sesi perjumpaan jaksa lama dengan jaksa baru, fit sms aku tanya nak pegi wedding pojol tak. aku pon dengan tak plan ape-ape, dengan tak beli hadiah wedding, teros siap. gi amik teksi, gi naik lrt sampai taman melati, then fit amik aku kat station lrt. sampai je kat dewan sekolah tu, dah pukul 3.30pm, aku fit dengan maya nampak wani abidin yang otw nak balik, so sempat la bersalaman & bertanya khabar. pastu aku dah nampak member-member sekolah aku yang lain pon otw nak balik, yang lawaknye aku dah lambai-lambai, bole diorang buat bodo jek. haha. keciwa betul. pastu bila kitorang dah kuar dari kereta, veena dah nampak aku, pastu ape lagi, kecoh kat tepi jalan tu macam jejak kasih. ye la, dah 4 tahun kot tak jumpa! rindu gila! lagi-lagi veena la yang paling aku rindu! so dapat la berjumpa dengan yanti, nana, aisyah, fatinah, fathiah, ros & mag. huwa! rindu sangat kat diorang nih! makin cantik & bergaya! huhu..

walaupon dalam 15-20 minit je berjumpa, sempat la ambil gambar, sempat borak kejap, lepas kan rindu yang dah terbuku selama 4 tahun ni. then diorang pon bertolak balik, aku fit & maya pegi jumpa pojol.

pojol adalah kawan sekolah menengah yang pertama aku yang kawen dulu. pasni siapa ek? huhu. agak-agaknye, masa aku kawen nanti, mesti diorang datang dengan anak-anak dah berderet kot. hahaha..
tahniah fauzul. semoga berbahgia ke anak cucu dan cicit. :)
tak sangka dalam 2 hari wedding yang berturut ni, aku dapat jumpa kawan-kawan lama aku balik.. memang dah ditakdirkan.. =))
adoiai jelesnya.. kawan-kawan aku dah tunang dah kawen, yang bakal bertunang la bagai.. huwaaAa!.. terasa jeles yang membuak-buak! huhu. x)

Friday, June 4, 2010


seems like this big wound in my heart
will never heals..

holiday's do things

i just couldn't stop writing especially when my heart started to feels empty but my mind keeps working even though no internet connection at home there's nothing can stop me to writing this hell blog. HAHA. okey. so here i wrote silly things as usual because NOBODY CAN STOP ME TO WRITE. nobody. and that's why writing become one of my passionate instead of drawing, coloring, room designing, sleeping, dreamdaying, maggieing, and caffaine? because those things i'm doing people will never bother me, because there's just nobody can stop me. they are nobody to stop me.end.

29, May 2010,
Today I officially started my 1st day of holiday at home. This end semester break will be the longest break I will ever had since the previous one I was so busy with college thing, went to kursus, became fasi conducted orientation for juniors, follow up the proposal for programs and much more and now I realize how much boring I am when I’m no longer to keep busying myself anymore. Seriously boring because I had nothing to worry about such as who to meet, what to do during conducting juniors, follow up this and that, and now I can only say to myself as an empty brain, or brainless?

So just now I was thinking about what to do during my holiday, so here are some of activities that I can do to reduce my boringness. I made a deal with azmi, me and azmi, we want to become cikgu tusyen azam since azam are going to have his SPM this year. I don’t know yet what subjects to teach him, I told him he can ask me anything and azmi since he so good in physics so definitely he’ll teach physics.

Apart of planning to become cikgu tusyen azam, I was also thought of improving my cooking skills. So, I said to my mom today, “mama, mulai besok ma dengan ayah balik kerja, terus makan . wani masak.” Huhu. Bunyi macam dah terer je.. So starting from tomorrow, I’m going to prepare dishes for dinner. Seriously, since entering kolej ktdi, I haven’t cook for a while, last time at laman midah, I did cooked sayur campur, sambal ayam, sambal ikan, well, I’m not very good in cooking but at least I did try and those foods I prepared, at least it can be eaten, taste just nice and fortunately I never got any GIT discomfort (yet)..

Yesterday me and other friends, we went to rumah kak liza and we prepared dishes for her husband’s birthday, we cooked nasi tomato, ayam masak merah, and sup sayur. Wow, now I found out that it wasn’t so hard to cook all those, kak liza as a master to cook all those while we just prepared for the ingredients, but yes I did learn a lot of things. So I’m going to give a shot, I’m going to cook sup sayur tomorrow. I just checked the fridge just now, and yeah got some chicken, fish and other stuff, so I guess, I’m going to cook ayam masak merah. Hohoho. Kitchen here I come.
31 May 2010
I thought that it was easiest to teach him chemistry but it actually was a self revealed of self stupidity. Today, I gave 4 hours free tuition class to azam, Seriously how was I supposed to remember those Jadual Berkala, proton, number of electrons, how to balance the chemical equations, nucleon = neutron + proton, proton = electron, and all that!!! Seriously at first start I was catatonic for a while when azam asked me those questions. Well, I was approached him first when I said to him, “Azam, cepat. Nak Tanya pape, tanye je! Aku tengah semangat nak ajar ko ni. Asik main game je. “Then he asked me those questions and it was like a bunch of questions of chemistry and my mind was like, hello, slow down. I didn’t prepare anything yet!
But at the end I was slowly catch up the whole questions and azam was like at first, he just like “eleh, macam ingat je kakak aku ni”, but when some questions like how to calculate the mass of compound and he was absolutely stupid for that kind of question and I was just nonstop talking bla bla bla giving him free lectures and writing on the paper then calculating using calculator then the all the questions answered!!! And azam was like Hoah! staring at me and telling me, “cikgu aku tak penah ajar wei” “pergh, senang gile”. “ok, aku dah faham”. “wei, nape cikgu aku tak ajar pon sume ni?”. Aku rasa macam nak hantuk je kepala dia kat dinding. Banyak la ko salahkan cikgu tak ajar. Or maybe memang betul cikgu dia tak ajar kot. Haih, cikgu dia ni.. Feel like I just I wanted to yell at his face “HOI! KO LAGI BRAPA BULAN NAK SPM NI! TAKKAN BENDA SIMPLE CAMNI KO TAK TAW KOT!!!”.
We revised all the midyear exam’s paper, and 2005 SPM paper for chemistry and all the questions answered, Azam he just so excitedly wanted to learn so much, and when every time I asked him if he understand or not, and he passionately answered “PAHAM”, then I feel so much released and satisfied for today free tuitions(hohoh). Until I remind him its 1am already and he needs to get prepare for school tomorrow and he said to me “ok. Baru cover 20%”. Ada lagi 80% ok. So sambung lagi nanti”. Ayoyo.. adik aku ni.. buat aku risau betul..
Today, I went shopping with my mom and went for lunch together with cikmah and Najmi and Ijam, my two cousins. At my home, nurina called, asking me this like a pile lot of questions like, “kak wani, nina tak paham ni, camne nak ingat biceps triceps kat mane, nama tulang asik lupa je”. “kak wani, camne nak ingat immune system ni. Pening la”.”kak wani, nak ingat camne jantung pam darah ni susah laa..”.. ayayayayai…. Then me, “ok kembar! Datang rumah akak cuti minggu depan okey! Kita buat study group ramai ramai!!”.. haha. So basically we’re planning to do study group revision during this school holiday for 2 weeks. It’s like I have to teach azam, nurin, nurina, syahira, and amzari since they all are going to sit for the SPM this year, so I voluntarily myself to teach them.

Instead of refreshing and recalling my mind again, I also can improve my talking skills, teaching skills, memorizing skills, yeay! I’m good in teaching too! Wahaha! So excited!
Gembira rasanya, bila kita dapat turunkan ilmu pada adik-adik kita segala ilmu yang telah diturunkan oleh cikgu kita pada kita suatu ketika dahulu..
drumroll prease...
here are some of my masterpiece arts collection!
1. Colored Gass Vase
this two maybelline nail color i got it for free for buying maybelline products more than rm50. stupid. they gave me useless things. at first i thought i just want to throw it away, but ended up i used it to color this plain vase.

2. Tree Poster
i bought Buncho water color for rm 12, brushes for rm0.80 and drawing block for rm7. total about rm20. lately, trees and any natural things really inspiring me, so i'm going to drawing and coloring tree sposters as much as possible. huhu..