Thursday, June 24, 2010

going for kursus tomorrow for 2nd time to be fasilitator

a few days ago, when i was in my room at kolej, i was thinking of how much greatful my life was at this moment, to learn a lot from being such a lousy KP for dinner nursing in year 1, until an insignificant jaxa member in year 3. and now im heading towards my precious year 4, the only final year left, before i start my journey to become a real nurse..
then i also think about how wonderful my life-experienced to be the fasilitator for MMP and a bit envy towards oya and tay for them to get an opportunity to become fasis and go for all the kursus in besut and bangi..
but then..
until today,
cik jenny called me asking me to replace oya's place since she couldn't go to kursus because she have to take care of her beloved grandpa.. at first, i was a bit excited because i've got this oportunity (again), but then, to remember of oya really wanted so much to be one of the fasi from the beginning, and now im really feeling awful and ashamed of myself for taking advantage of her opportunity.. :(
frankly speaking, Oya deserve much more better than me. Oya should go for this kursus and be one of the fasilitator for 3M, but it just me that always take others opportunity..(am i?) :((
to think about how luckiest person i am that always had great opportunities infront of me but yet i never satisfied with it, i feels so bad.
previous one, i was the fasilitator too, but to be honest, i was choosen because i have to replace somebody's place too, if i'm not mistaken it was a seniors' place, it was a bit last minutes, puan faiz called me and asked for my t-shirt size, to fill a few forms and many more. and this time, again, for the last minutes today, cik jenny called me to replace oya's place. i'm packing tonight and going to besut terengganu tomorrow early morning.
weird isn't? for the 2nd times i've been selected, to replacing somebody's place. maybe because i'm the only person that my hometown nearer to hukm, so they probably think that i'm a good-last-minutes-person-to-replace and absolutely they think i can make it.
by the way, what ever it is, oya still deserve to be the fasilitator.. and i'm just a person called as a 'replacer' only..
but i will do my best. pray for me..
this time, ktdi will be stay at keris mas together with Fak Perubatan and FSKB. it's supposed to be like that from the beginning because nursing is under fak. perubatan, i dont know what reasons they seperated them like that from the earier.
i cant image how perang dectar this time will be since ktdi have to join with keris mas (or maybe we wont), the thing is, me and few fasis was together with kajai before this, and we was cheered and supported kajai but this time im afraid the fasis from keris mas or ktsn, they kind of 'hate' us since we was in kajai before.. but i guess keris mas is much more better than zaba. because i 'hate' zaba. they are too agressive. i prefer keris mas rather than zaba, even though i have few friends from zaba. :)

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