Thursday, January 27, 2011

4 months left to go as a student...

lama dah tak tulis, sebab busy busy busy sangat lately. tak tahu la busy apa, bukannya study sgt pon. dok tengok drama jepun n korea ada la. busy dengan seminar pengurusan, bola jaring, pegi downtown, dan ntah apa benda lagi merepek repek yang aku buat.

kelmarin pegi downtown dengan budak batch aku, 16 orang tak bole belah. jalan kaki plak tu. sampai melecet-lecet kaki aku. pegi downtown bukan beli apa sangat pon, aku cuma beli selipar jepon je. pastu part yang best cuma kitorng gi makan kat yong taw fu. sedapp dowww. hahaha. yang lagi tak bole belahnya, kitorng kena tahan dengan pakgad masa time balik kolej sebab kitorng balik pukul 11.30pm. nasib baik ar pakgad tu tak amik nama, pastu repot kat pengetua ke, pastu pakgad tu repot kat mak ayah aku ke, memang malu besar ar aku! jatuh reputasi aku ni. mana nak letak muka aku yang mahal. hahaha.

budak kelas aku memang sume sengal tahap babun dapat pisang ar, dah la gila gambar, main bola jaring memang tahap gila sengal yang teramat, siap suar koyak koyak apa kes.. siap pakai suar pantai ape kess.. hahaha..

well, actualy kalau nak dikira, this week adalah minggu terakhir aku bersuka ria dengan kawan-kawan batch aku. minggu depan dah cuti mid sem raya cina, naik sem je, sume dah terpisah sebab posting dah lain-lain wad. 2 minggu posting luar utk module gerantology. ada yang akan pegi HKL, dan beberapa tempat lain. pastu abis gerant, posting management. group aku posting 3 minggu kat surgery, lagi satu group kat wad medikal. pastu exchange.


management kali ni lain posting nya macam posting sebelum ni. kali ni memang dah jadi macam staff nurse dah. aku hari pertama je dah jadi TL (team leader), pastu nurse incharge patient, pastu minggu kedia baru dapat rasa jadi AD nurse (Admission and discharge). minggu ketiga, aku posting shift malam (On Night) duty utk 2 hari. memnag semuanya akan terpsah la, nak main bola ke, payah dah sebab masing-masing dah tak sama jadual..

sampai la bulan June nanti, dah habis posting, study week, pastu final. 14 June exam LJM (lembaga Jururawat Malaysia). exam ni amat penting utk aku dapat lesen. semua yang bakal jadi nurse kat Malaysia, akan menduduki exam ni, serentak. sekali dalam setahun. if gagal, kena tunggu next year punya LJM. ala..macam exam SPM. ko gagal, bukan bole repeat paper pon. gagal, tak dapat lesen, tak bole kerja, sebab takde lesen la.


whatever lah. aku belum mula start stress lagi ni. aku tengah stress nak pikir assignment law. tak tahu la nak tulis apa utk asigment tu. mula ingat cam tak penting je subject law, tapi bila tengok drama jepun cam cerita Team Medical Dragon, dengan Code Blue, wahh.. profession perubatan dan kesihatan lah yang paling mudah kena saman.

betul la kawan aku yang buat law cakap. law dengan medical profession sangat tak sependapat. tapi satu je sependapat, law dengan medical profession gembira bila orang sakit/bermasalah. contohnya, kalau orang ada masalah berkaitan law, macam perebutan harta or anak, lawyer dapat kes. so dia gembira sebab ada customer. kalau ada orang sakit, bila doktor dapat jumpa diagnosis, dia gembira. tapi patient suffer bila tahu ada diagnosis tu. lebih kurang la.. actly bukan la gembira, tapi more to puas. relief. lega. satisfaction.

aku dah tak tahu aku merepek sampai kemana dah ni. tapi sebenarnya nak cerita aktiviti yang meng-hectic-kan life aku ni. tapi cite benda lain pulak..

oh ya. aku ada cita-cita. aku nak join politik. hehehe. ok. memang macam susah ar nak join politik. tapi aku decide, walaupon aku dah habis blaja, tak semestinya sampai disini je perjalanan aku. dah habis blaja, jom kita tubuh kan alumni macam prof nik cakap tu. pastu kita buat conference asia pasific lagi ke.. kita kumpulkan semua senior kita ke.. kumpulkan semua degree holder dari usm, uitm dan universiti lain ke. wahaha.. macam ada angan-anagn itu.. tapi tak tahu dimana nak mulakannya...

kaki aku sakit la since menari tarian cina time raya aidilfitri aritu..sampai skang.. mcm ligament tear ke apa, tak tahu la aku.. bertambah sakit selepas main bola jaring. nak sujud pon sakit. dah berbulan dah ni... kalo stakat muscle sprain tak macam ni kot...


"kaki sakit. tapi puas. aku dapat berlari"
:)

Sunday, January 16, 2011

kecewa degan hari ini dan semalam

Perlu ke aku sedih sebab kalah? Aku menangis hari ini. Ok. Tak sepatutnya aku menangis sebab hanya kerana kalah bola jaring. Aku menangis sebab hari ini dan semalam memang teruk bagi aku. Why are they just being so mean? Are they are made to be mean? Are they just meant to be mean?

Aku taknak membebel utk perkara semalam dan hari ini. Kalau aku membebel lagi macam lah aku boleh ubah diorang jadi lebih baik sikit. Terlalu banyak untuk aku membebel, tapi cukup lah. Takda apa yang boleh merubah the fact that they are meant to be mean. Forever.

Kecewa sangat. Apa yang aku dah lakukan akan bakal berhenti disini. Siapa yang akan sambung apa yang aku dah buat? Siapa? Ya Allah tolong la muncul kan lah orang tu. Segala yang aku dah usahakan akan terberhenti disini.

Adakah semua aku buat selama ini salah? Mungkin kah aku ada buat dosa dan kesilapan sampai waktu ini aku harus terima hukuman yang sedikit demi sedikit yang menghancurkan hati aku ni?

Kenapa aku perlu kisah kalau diorang tak dapat merit pon. Aku dah final year tak perlu kejar merit dah. Kenapa aku perlu join bola jaring la bagai macam la aku nak kejar merit sangat.
Kenapa aku bengang sangat kalau takda budak nursing yang buat persembahan untuk dinner kolej.Macam lah kalau aku kisah pon, aku dapat apa-apa macam budak jaksa yang tak payah bayar yuran kolej tu? Kenapa aku mesti nak masuk campur?

Tak boleh ke aku duduk diam-diam, tak perlu involve apa-apa program dan study untuk final year aku? Kenapa aku nak masuk campur?

Dan sebab aku dah masuk campur la aku aku sendiri yang rasa kecewa sekarang ni.. Kesal kerana hadirkan diri untuk dinner kolej, dan kesal join bola jaring, dan kesal untuk banyak benda lagi.

Prof Hamidah cakap don’t create a distance. Tapi lagi aku make the distance close, lagi kecewa hati aku ini.

Anyway, aku ada sedikit rasa gembira, at least aku dah create memory dengan batch aku, dan juga dengan batch junior-junior aku untuk team bola jaring.

Next, Kembara Seri Perpatih III. Mungkin akan ada lagi perasaan kecewa macam sekarang ni, tapi at least aku dapat create memory dengan junior aku yang join, dan jugak sahabat-sahabat aku di UKM Bangi. InsyaAllah.

Semua benda buat aku kecewa. tak tahu lah kenapa. Symptoms raynaud dgn chest pain tu makin menjadi-jadi pulak lately. dulu takda pulak vein kat tapak tangan aku, tpi skang kat palm dgn jari-jari aku dah muncul vein-vein halus. Mungkin skang musim hujan dan cuaca sangat sejuk. Ya Allah aku taknak sakit. Kalau aku sakit, macam mana aku nak jaga orang yang sakit? Tolonglah jauh kan aku dari kesakitan.

Mama call hari ni cakap kat aku “jaga kesihatan tu ye kak”. buat aku risau bila dia cakap macam tu. tak pernah-pernah plak dia cakap "jaga kesihatan" kat aku. tak adil. segalanya tak adil utk aku. aku makan sayur. aku exercise. aku suka pegi jogging. aku involve segala bagai sukan. aku tak makan jajan-jajan. tapi kenapa mesti ada wujudnya sakit "unknown causes" tu? kenapa? kenapa mesti aku? kenapa ntah aku perlu rasa kecewa lagi dengan diri sendiri. aku tak paham. kenapa ada ujian sebegini. semakin hari, aku semakin takut dengan diri sendiri. semua benda aku buat dengan hati-hati. kalau lah aku tak pergi folow up dulu, aku tak perlu jadi macam ni.

Kalau lah aku boleh berhenti semuanya disini. Dan lari jauh sejauh mungkin. Atau, kalau lah aku boleh patah ke belakang balik, aku taknak amik course ni. Bukan sebab aku tak suka nursing, tapi sebab aku tak suka mereka, mereka dan mereka ini. mereka yang pentingkan diri ini. selamanya. Selama-lamanya aku takkan suka mereka.. maafkan aku kerana rasa tak suka ini.

Dan kalau satu hari nanti aku sakit, aku taknak mereka dan mereka ini merawat aku. Aku tak suka. Selama-lamanya., memang aku selfish, memang aku sombong, memang aku keras kepala. So what.

Cekal. Kuat. Tabah. Sikit je lagi wani untuk aku sampai ke penghujung cerita ini. Tolonglah cekal dan kuat dan tabahkan hati mu. Tolong lah wahai hati.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Year 4 Mental Health Elective posting Edmonton Community Mental Health Team. London, United Kingdom (27 Sept-19 Nov 2010)

During my 8 weeks Mental Health Elective Posting in Year 4 Semester 1, I was sent to Edmonton Community Mental Health Team (CMHT) London, United Kingdom to give me a better understanding and full experiences of the available mental health services in that country. I went to a few mental health services such acute care ward, home treatment team, day hospital, and community mental health resources such as MIND and Park Avenue.


From the whole elective posting of mental health module, I learnt that just having the knowledge are not enough for me to manage patients with mental illness but the experiences, involving in multidisciplinary team, linking with the other mental health resources are the important component as well.
People who are dealing with mental illness need psycho-education as well as social aspect, thus as a nurse, it is important to communicate with other professions such as Consultant Psychiatrists, Mental Health Social Workers, Occupational Therapists, as well as Psychologists who are act as the first line of response for the mentally ill in the community.
Throughout this 8 clinical posting, I was not only able to manage mentally ill patients in pharmacological aspect, but as well as managing them in psychological and social aspect. It was an amazing opportunity and I hope by sharing this experiences, I will able to give an ideas on how to improve and promote the development of mental health system in Malaysia in the future.
Edmonton CMHT
Edmonton Community Mental Health Centre Consists of two teams. The team acts as the first line of response for the mentally ill patients in the community. The teams are integrated and multidisciplinary which comprise of Community Psychiatric Nurses (CPNs), Social Workers (SWs), Psychiatrists, Occupational Therapies, Psychologists and Pharmacologists. Each of the CMHT’s is managed by a Team Manager.
During Referral/Allocation Meeting, the CPNs or SWs on duty would bring up cases which have been referred to discuss with the team and decide which cases that need to be assigned to a care-coordinator while who did not fit the referral criteria will be referred to the patient’s GP or other appropriate resources. The community mental health team also monitors patients who have been recently discharged from wards and Home Treatment Team and able to function well in the community.
CMHT were also run the Clozaril Clinic which physical health checks will be done once every 2 weeks to monitor white blood cells count, vital signs as well as side effects of the medications. They were also run the Depot Clinic Injection to administer anti-psychotic I/M Injection every Wednesday then after that a Clinic Meeting will be conducted to discuss any matter arises as well as identify which patients did not attend to the clinic, thus a care-coordinator will visit to the patient’s home and administer the medications.
Care program Approach (CPA) and Care-Coordinator
CPA is a means of coordinating all of patient care to try to meet their individual, cultural, linguistic and gender needs arising from their mental health problems.
When patient first come into contact with mental health services they will be assessed to find out about their health and social care needs. A named person (a care coordinator) will be there to support them and be their main point of contact. A written plan for patient care will be drawn up with them and there will be regular reviews of patient care.
Care coordinator will be responsible for coordinating/ overseeing care plan, and make sure it meets patient needs. They will be responsible for ensuring contact with the patient is maintained by phone call or home visit the patient as often as needed. They will meet the patient before any review meeting to discuss patient needs.
Needs assessment of client will be discuss together with client’s family/caregiver. The care-coordinator will discuss upon patient’s feeling, what mental health services that patient using, what other help that patient need, accommodation and financial status, whether patient have any legal problem, what medication patient’s on, including the effect and the side effect, and whether patient is due any health checks.
Care plan will develop during CPA review which include a list of patient health and social care needs, a plan of how patient needs are going to be met, the name of the person who is going to help patient to get what he/she need, symptoms that patient/care giver recognize that indicate patient are becoming unwell, what to do if patient is in sudden need of psychiatric help, what strategies patient use to help themselves to cope and the date of the next review of the care plan. Patient will be given a copy of the care plan.
For CPA Review Meeting, care coordinator will review patient’s care plan regularly with the patient and the meeting should happen at least once a year. Patient will receive a letter inviting patient to attend, detailing others invited and who patient would like to come with them. During CPA Review Meeting, patient will able to ask a care giver, a friend or an advocate to come with them. Patient will able to put forward their views and wishes about their treatment and care. Patient will able to discuss new and different treatments as well as to ask questions about their care. Patient also will able to raise any concerns that they may have about their care and treatment.
Mental Health Resource Centers: MIND and Park Avenue
Park Avenue and MIND are the mental health resource centers for mental illness people to gain independent and confidence by developing living skills, learning coping strategies, promoting positive engagement with local community resources, and enhancing personal well-being by focusing on community participation.

Client can choose what activities they want to do as they provide so many services and activities such as Internet and emailing training, Anxiety Management, Health eating and Cooking, Gardening, Photography Group, Hat making, Visiting Museums, Art Galleries and Libraries, using Public Transport (tubes, trains, buses) and Journey Planning, Voluntary Work, collage Courses, Sport Programmes such as Swimming, Gym, Fitness Programmes, Local Walking Group and Counseling Session for hearing voices group which facilitated by qualified counselor. I managed to involve in some of the activities such as Hat making, Photography Group, Yoga, Photoshop and Books Group.

The service also assisted the service users to furnish and equip their new home, and have learned the necessary daily living skills to be able them to shop, cook, clean, lauder, budget and pay bills, to living independently. They will also be engaging and participating in their local community and have been supported to access opportunities in both paid and voluntary employment, education and training, and leisure.
Psychiatric Wards : Chase Farm Hospital
I was sent to the Psychiatric Male Ward at Chase Farm Hospital for ward experience. The acute in-patient ward holds 16 patients including voluntary and involuntary patients and from what I heard, the number of beds will be cut down few more because the system (NHS) decided the mental illness patients should be more focused in the community area rather than being admitted. In the ward, each patient has their own room, bathroom, locker, and table. There is a seclusion room where it hold patients who are unstable (aggressive) or uncooperative. The room is monitored by CCTV camera that connected to Nurses Counter and Ward Manager’s room. There are a number of facilities provided in the ward such as a pool table, a wide-screen TV and DVD player, PlayStation2, videogames, exercise equipments, backyard for smoking, and occupational therapy room equipped with games and other stimulated activities.
The routine in the ward was a bit different where they have a Family Meeting, Community Meeting, stimulating activities, recreational activities, occupational Therapy sessions and many more. All activities are scheduled appropriately. Community meetings held every Thursday, where all the patients and staff sit together and discuss issues of concern such as treatment, feeling about illness, current affairs and many more. Family Meeting is where the patients, doctor, in-charge nurse and patient’s family members/ caregiver are sit together and discuss any concerns about the illness, treatment and patient’s progress.
There were also “one-to-one” patient care system, which one nurse will in-charge for one patient, depends on what patient’s condition are. After the discussion about patient’s condition, the ward manager will assign “one-to-one” during Ward Round Meeting every morning. The nurse who does the “one-to-one” will has to observe patient’s behavior, talk and discuss with patient, listen to his/her concerns during the whole shift, and document every progression. I also involved in preparing meals for patients where the nurses prepared breakfast and lunch, and the good thing is the patients can choose what they want to eat/drinks. It was a brilliant idea to let the patients choose what they want as this will promote the patients to make their own decision and try to gain independent.
Day Hospital (ARC): Active Recovery Community
The ARC is a multidisciplinary approach team where all health care professions work together such as Doctor, Nurses, Occupational Therapies and the other staff.
Patient will be admitted under the care of Consultant Psychiatrist. Patient also will be allocated with the Key Worker from the team. They will coordinate patient from admission to discharge. Key Worker could be either a nurse or occupational therapies.
Every patient has a named nurse who will manage patient medication, in consultation with the doctor and be involved in monitoring patient health. The nursing staff will also be involved in running groups as part of the therapeutic group programme. Occupational Therapies involved in discussing patient ability to function and manage their daily activities and be involved in setting treatment goals with the patients.
The other staffs include Art Therapy, Music Therapy, Clinical Psychology, Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Group Analysis, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Social Workers, Patient Affairs and Liaison Officers (PALS), and Administrative Staff.
The basic aims of group are to improve patient motivation, confidence and self-esteem, encourage communication, share experience with others by listening and responding, offer and receive support, gain knowledge and coping skill, increase self-awareness and awareness of others, encourage decision making and help to cope with tension and anxiety.
The aims can be achieve by variety of therapy groups Physical activities (Yoga, Thai Chi and exercise), Expressive Group ( Creative writing, Art therapy, Music therapy), Practical groups ( Horticulture, Arts and Crafts), Daily Living Skills ( Community Groups and Cookery), Relaxation Groups, Discussion Groups ( Current Affairs) and Sharing Experiences (Women’s Group, Support Group, Group Analysis).
Therapy Groups such as Music Therapy, Art Therapy, Border-link Group and Group Analysis will have a greater focus on exploring feelings, emotions and thoughts, reflecting on ways of relating to others, experiencing new ways of relating, reflecting on how the group works and relating to one another.
Evaluation
Overall, managing the mental health patients are always challenging to me, it will never be easy as what most people thought. Nurses have so many roles to direct the care of mentally ill patients and there are so many things to be improved for the future mental health nursing in Malaysia.
I loved everything that I had learnt during the whole mental health elective posting. The chances to learn and to see how much develop of the mental health system in the United Kingdom was really inspiring and was a life enriching experience for me , which I will appreciate for the rest of my life.
I hope by sharing this a bit of information and experience, it would provide us an idea on how can we make changes in the future nursing profession.

life to be up to date

ada dua benda currently yang aku tengah membusykan diri ini.
1. recruit participant utk Kembara Seri Perpatih III
2. recruit team member utk team bola jaring

KSP III
batch aku, aku sorang je la yang join. yang lain tak join sebab dah tempah tiket. lagi pon ni sem terakhir, so diorng nak balik kampung nak angkut barang sikit2 time cuti ni. nanti dah habis blaja, payah la pulak kan nak angkut sume balik kampung. ok la. takpe la. reasonable. aku tak kisah pon join KSP sorang2 actly. aku memang dah biasa kalo buat benda sorang-sorang. tu memang kegemaran aku. kalo aku dihantar ke pulau yang tak berpenghuni seorang diri pon, aku boleh hidup. huhu. anyway, skng baru ada 6 participant termasuk aku. aku "ditugaskan" (ecewah, mcm permanis lgi je.;p) utk recruit seramai yang mungkin wakil dri ktdi. supposed sbgai tanggungjawab, aku kena jgk open pada dak2 medik. tak silap aku tahun lepas ada 2 org dak mdik join, tp diorng kat ktsn, so apiz yg uruskan. ala, diorng busy kot. nak join progrm 6 hari bgi mereka cam 6 tahun kot. ahaha. takpe r. 6 org ni dah kira ok la ni, at least ada wakil dri ktdi..

Bola Jaring.
actually aku nak just main suka suki je. so jumaat ni training. ahad ni dah lawan. program anjuran jaksa. rugi la aku tak join. dah bayar jaksa RM100, dah la program sebelum ni buat time aku tengah cuti, banyak dah terlepas. membazir duit aku je bayar for nothing. so at least sem ni aku gi dinner dan join bola jaring. takda la rasa rugi sgt.

skang dah recruit 21 orng. 5 org year 4, 4 org year 3, 7 org year 2, dan 5 org year 1. gila babeng ramai kan! tapi takpa, harap2 la besok tak hujan, pas training boleh select sape yang betul2 nak main. NAK MAIN UNTUK MENANG OK! saya dan kak eva telah melantik diri kami sendiri sebagai coach! hahaha! boleh ar camni? 2 org coach? coach ni kena la berani. berani sahut cabaran dari pasukan (kak eva) dan berani cari pasal (aku la tu). sebab main bola jaring ni memang tak boleh ar nak bersahabat-bersahat ni. ntah pape kan. perlawanan persahabatan. kalo ko nak bersahabat, gi la join rakit ke, rakan muda ke, gi jogging ke, joget pocho-pocho ke, ni nak main bola jaring game yang agak ganas tu. sape la yang reka "perlawanan persahabatan tu". tak sesuai lansung.

game is game. either you win or loose. kalau kalah, aku bengang, marah dan kecewa. kalau menang aku gembira, suka dan puas hati. so aku nak main, sebab nak menang. nak menang jugak! aku tak peduli! nak menanggg!! huwaaa!! bagi laa aku menanggg!!! x(

masa aku zaman skolah, aku pernah pegang position centre (C). sebab banyak lari. dan aku tak perlu risau nak shoot. aku tak pandai shot. pernah la jadi shooter, tapi main macam ayam-ayam je la. bukan yang lawan antara skola ke apa.. dulu aku sekolah perempuan, so aku tak yah risau ar nak main ganas-ganas, sebab takda laki nak tengok. takyah ar ko nak control2 ayu kann.. dulu bila skola aku lawan dengan skola campur, budak skola aku memang suka cari pasal dengan diorang. diorang memang gedik main cam ayam control ayu. main sebab ko nak tunjuk bagus depan budak laki korang. bajet korang nak tunjuk hebat la sebab skola korang ada budak laki yang cam pondan cheers untuk korangg kann.. hhaha.

cousin aku dulu cheerleader kat skola dia. dia pon skola pompuan, tapi kitorang skola berbeza. cheerleader needs attitude. dan attitude ke-kerek-kan tu jangan cakap ar, WAJIB ada!!!! aku rasa aku dengan kawan-kawan aku dan sepupu aku telah memalui proses ke-kerek-kan yang sempurna! aku suka skola pompuan. puas hati ar masuk skola pompuan. kalo join bola jaring tu, team kita sangat kuat la. sanggup gak ponteng kelas, pastu cakap kita ada training utk rumah sukan. haha. pastu dah abis main, pergi lepak melantak mekdi kat titiwangsa tu. memang nakal gila kitorang dulu. rindunya zaman dahulu. aku memang boleh tahan nakal. tapi skang aku dah baik laa... Insyaallah. :p

satu je aku nak capai selagi aku masih hidup.

Memories.
kenangan dengan kawan-kawan dan dengan team aku(semua batch turun padang jadi satu team tau!)
kenangan dengan kawan-kawan dengan UKM bangi especially Permanis untuk program KSP. dah final year, ntah lepas ni dapat lagi tak berjumpa dengan diorang. =(

hanya kenangan je la yang dapat aku jadikan penyembuh luka dalam hati ini.
cewah.


Wednesday, January 12, 2011

atasi masalah rambut gugur dengan anti-hairloss SebaMed :p


pernah tak aku mention body part aku yang paling berharga adalah rambut aku?
owh, tak pernah kot. baru nak bagitahu la ni.
of course la diri aku adalah perkara paling berharga buat diri aku.
tak kisahla, kaki aku buruk ke, gigi aku senget ke, jari aku panjang ke, mata aku sepet sebelah ke, telinga aku tak symmetry ke, bla bla ba dan banyak lagi la imperfection kat diri aku ni, aku tetap sayang diri aku dan bersyukur apa yang dikurniakan.

dan apa yang paling paling paling berharga pada aku adalah rambut aku. tapi lately rambut aku mengalami gatal walaupon dah shampoo, aku rasa aku nak masuk stage simptom rambot gugur atau alopecia la.. alopecia kan inherited.

so aku disyorkan oleh idola aku (mak aku) yang mengesyorkan shampoo Sebamed anti-hair loss. aku kenal product ni dari doktor la yang mengesyorkan aku untuk pakai produk shampoo ni. doktor mak aku bagi free je shampoo untuk aku try. hehe. nanti aku nak suro mak aku mintak lagi shampoo ni lagi kat doktor panel dia. :p

1st time aku pakai, pergh memang best ar. aku sebelum ni pakai shampoo Loreal dengan conditioner. produk yang agak mahal, dan memang lepas pakai shampoo tu memang rambut rasa bersinar dan ringan la. tapi aku rasa pasni nak stop la, nak pakai sebamed. Loreal tu mahal jugak la. dah pakai bertahun shampoo tu. beli shampoo dengan conditioner dalam RM50. dan skang nak tuka produk ke sebamed.

Sebamed anti-hair loss ni bagus sebab ada Ginko Biloba. Ginko Biloba ni bagus sebab dia boleh increase blood circulation to the scalp. masa aku letak je shampoo ni kat scalp aku, ada rasa macam berangin. macam mint. rasa sejuk je. aku rasa macam nak tido je masa massage scalp aku. best gila. pas cuci tu, tak payah pakai conditioner dah, rambut terus jadi cam lembut.

aku shampoo rambut seminggu 3 kali. dan bila aku pakai shampoo ni, hari 2 dan 3 tak cuci rambut, rambut aku still lembut, ringan, shining, rasa macam pakai rambut palsu pon ada.

aku memang suka jenis lepas rambut kalau kat rumah, sebab aku suka mengibas-ngibas rambut aku macam ala-ala supermodel tu. haha. dan bila pakai shampoo ni, lagi la aku suka mengerbangkan rambot aku.

sesiapa yang ada problem dengan hair-loss, rambut gatal, aku highly recommmend korang pakai produk ni.
sebamed ada banyak type produk utk shampoo, ada yang daily use, anti-hair loss, anti-kelimumur, etc.etc.

tapi, shampoo ni agak mahal jugak la. 200ml Rm39.
tapi,
mamang tak nyesal la pakai shampoo ni. memang berbaloi la.

:)

Sunday, January 2, 2011

a new year, a new life, to be updated


Alhamdulillah.
alhamdulillah apa saja keputusan yang aku dapat.
yang terbaik bila aku dapat tahu keputusan blood test tu, bila aku mengetahuinya selepas aku abis exam. walaupun keputusan tu betul-betul dah hancurkan hati aku, tapi aku lega sebab aku mengetahuinya sekarang, dan bukan masa bulan august tu, kalau tak, tak mungkin aku dapat teruskan hidup pergi kenegara orang sendirian, tak mungkin aku dapat tumpu pada study, lagi-lagi nak exam time tu..
alhamdulliah, semua yang berlaku ada hikmahnya.
alhamdulillah, walaupun keputusan tak seberapa hebat, tapi aku dapat A utk paper psychiatric.

satu hari nanti, aku akan jadi jugak nurse psychiatric. maybe bukan selepas grad. tapi mungkin 5 - 7 atau 10 tahun akan datang, jika umur aku masih panjang, aku akan jadi nurse psychiatric yang terbaek dari ladang.
selepas grad, aku akan kerja kat tempat yang banyak practice skills, dalam hati aku dulu aku tertanya aku nak buat apa lepas ni, aku minat apa sebenarnya, tapi lepas aku tengok result psychiatric aku, semangat aku dah naik semula. Alhamdullilah. ya Allah, kuatkan la hati ini, jiwa ini, mental dan fizikal aku ini untuk capai apa yang aku impikan.. nampak seperti masih jauh untuk aku pergi ke 10 tahun atau 5 tahun itu, dan kadang-kadang aku fikir kuatkah aku untuk sampai kesitu. ya Allah, bantu aku untuk aku buangkan segala fikiran negetive ini.

untuk keputusan yang lain, ada la sedikit kekecewaan. dan aku taknak fikir pun. tak kisah lah. by the end, aku akan jadi nurse jugak. yelah, memang la kalau nak sambung blajar dia nak tengok pointer. tapi Alhamdullilah aku dapat maintain pointer kumulatif aku. 0.01 pon tak turun, 0.01 pon tak naik. dan Alhamdulillah untuk kenaikkan graf pointer semester aku. Alhamdulillah sangat-sangat. dan semester yang terakhir ini, aku harap aku dapat buat yang lagi terbaik. insyaAllah.
untuk tahun 2011 ni, umur aku dah 23 tahun.
mama ingatkan kat aku yang umur aku skarang ni adalah umur mak aku kahwin dengan ayah aku. kalau tahun depan bulan march, adalah umur mak aku lahirkan aku. ya Allah. bertuahnya mak aku dapat tengok aku membesar sampai ke umur dia kahwin. aku harap, suatu hari nanti, aku dapat jugak tengok anak aku membesar sampai ke umur aku melahirkan diorang.
contohnya, kalau aku lahirkan anak aku masa umur 40 tahun. maknanya aku harap dapat tengok diorang membesar sampai umur 40. siut, mulut celupar! mengarut la kan kalau umur 40 dapat anak. itu mak dara tua namanya. ish2. tampar sikit mulut ni.

untuk tahun 2011 ni, aku akan jadi seorang yang lebih organized sikit. tersusun rapi. jadual, routine harian aku, skin routine, appointment, lecture notes, study time, sleeping time, cuci bilik air time, cuci baju time, susun baju, susun buku, pemakanan sihat, everything aku nak semua nya tersusun.
aku ada routine yang aku kena follow skang ni. kinohimitsu ni aku baru je start seminggu lepas. tapi innershine tu dulu dah start lama dah, 2 bulan lebih aku minum, pastu stop. skang nak start balik.. pastu skang ni aku nak minum banyak air mineral. bagus untuk kesihatan. actually kan, aku takut la jugak, kalau betul la aku ada diagnosis tu, aku kena la jaga buah pinggang aku mulai dari skarang.. so penyelesaian nya, minum banyak air..

semalam aku balik dari cameron highlands. aku beli pokok kaktus dengan pokok munge kecik (tak tahu lah apa nama scientifi dia), aku beli stawberry, dengan monyet yang bila dipicit perut dia, dia menjerit. mengerikan kalau picit time malam2. aku picit dia semalam, terus aku campak dia dalam almari.

monyet aku memang aku bergayut dekat tudung-tudung selendang aku. itu hobi dia. kadang-kadang dia suka juga sorokkan selendang aku bawah katil. rasa nak tendang je buntut dia.

minta maaflah pada haiwan yang lain sebab aku tak berapa suka korang berbanding monyet.dan aku suka jugak pokok. sebab ada kaitan dengan monyet. monyet suka bergayut pada pokok. dan monyet juga suka makan bunga. especially bunga raya. yeke.. memandai je kann...


pokok katus yang sangat murah. satu rm4. beli 4 rm11 je. murah gile. rasa nak beli banyak-banyak je pastu main baling-baling kat dalam kelas sementara tunggu lecturer masuk.



kak jeha housemate ku tersayang, bagi aku medal semalam. yiiihaaa.. hehe. menang la pulak kan.. aritu aku join bola tampar dengan kakak2 tahun 5 medik, ganti sebab tak cukup orang, tapi kalah la bila lawan dengan team junior tu. pastu tetibe plak dapat no 3,mungkin match dengan team lain menang pulak kan. so kiranya aku la penyebab team kami kalah. sebab aku tak join match seterusnya, menang pulak. haha. tapi best la dapat medal dan jajan momie monster.


to compared the result of the exam and the blood test,
the blood test was the worst part.
to compared the blood test with the result of psychiatric paper,
the psychiatric paper was the best part.
to compared with that so-called SLE probability-of-my-diagnosis with my life in another 10-15 years,
a life that i still living now is the best part.
the best part is i am alive now.
still breathing and able to see the world.
to smile and to write this entry.

Alhamdulillah.