Its been a long time i haven't writing. A lot of changes happening in my life and im still at a state of trying to adjusting myself to a life that i want it to be.
Few months ago, i was dealing with the tought of what i want in my life. i was depress to think what actually i want to become, what i want to acheive. I guess all of us since we were small, we tell ourself i want to be this and that in the future.
I want to go to the university, yes i did. I want to become a nurse, i did. I want to be employed. I did. I want to save money, i am. Everything i want i had acheive, but am i happy now? People look at me and think that im happy and had a good life but guess only Allah Almighty knows what i have gone through im my life.
The problem that happens to me now, i was running so hard to get what i want in my life. I run so fast so hard and didn't realize i left so much precious things behind me. Now i know i couldn't get back to the past and get all the things i left. The thing i can only do now is to slow down. Just walk relax slowly enjoys things happen around me, and the most important thing is to appreciate whatever come into my life.
I am so tired of running already. The more urge for me to get what i want the more i feel unsatisfied. And i never realize that i actually did 'get' what i want. I was ungreateful.
Me, just want to sit back and relax, take a breath and appreciate things. Now i feel a bit relief and happy. Finally i know what i want. Now i see what i have been searching for.